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34 Uses for a Pair of Silk Panties
In your explorations, have the gods of chance ever deemed to grant you something that seemed completely useless? I remember one campaign where my intrepid (and stubborn) thief spent hours climbing through a half-rotted house to get to a chest on the upper floor. Upon getting to the chest, she found the lock rusted beyond all hope of picking. So, bringing in her mage friend to help, they finally got the chest out of the house and open only to find it filled to brimming with silk lingerie. Normally, one would think that this is truly bad luck. Not so! There can be many uses for even the most mundane item.
- A change of underwear!
- Filter the grit out of your water.
- Makes a flashy statement as a mask, for those of you who don't want to be recognized (But definitely remembered).
- Sew up the leg holes, add a stick and you've got a butterfly net.
- As above, but use them to catch minnows.
- Surrender with panache!
- Fold and put under your baldric to reduce chaffing.
- Distract snake while your partner attempts to grab it from behind.
- Distract enemies by wearing nothing but the panties and a smile into battle.
- Wrap the panties in a rock and tie it with twine so the majority of fabric trails. Add a hook and you've got a deep sea fishing lure.
- Cut into ribbons to tie your hair back.
- Cut into ribbons to tie enemy mages fingers together.
- Temporary wicks for lanterns.
- Tinder.
- I'm sure they are a spell component for something.
- Wear on head to convince enemies that you're not just a lone, little mage in the woods, you're a deranged, little mage all alone in the woods.
- Patch up your cloak.
- Need a company standard?
- Embarrass your familiar!
- Hang them in a tree and plug arrows into your enemy's back as he stands there wondering why there are panties in the trees.
- Sew up the leg holes and they make a handy pouch.
- Sew secret, nonsensical messages into the fabric and hand them to strangers just to see the expressions on their faces.
- Fashion it into a tiny parachute for your familiar.
- Wrap your hand with it before handling something you think might be poisonous.
- Charm a kobold, make him wear the panties and dance before you to announce your arrival in cities.
- Cut into strips and use them to test that strange vial of liquid to see if it's acid.
- Use to oil your sword.
- Use as a rather ineffective, but attractive and comfortable, bandage.
- They make great holiday gifts!
- Use them to frame a wealthy nobleman for adultery and blackmail him.
- Handkerchief!
- Put a rock in them, tie a rope around the panties and use it to get the rope over a high branch.
- Wrap them around an arrow and set aflame.
- Put them in your beltpouch instead of coins for the next cutpurse who comes your way.
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